Giving Until it Hurts

Today and friend and I discussed giving, specifically how to give without strings attached. It's a really difficult concept when you think about it. So often we pass by homeless people because we're not sure what they will do with money if we give. We may be reluctant to loan money to a friend because we don't approve of their financial choices. We don't understand how a mom buying groceries using food stamps can have her hair and nails done. The list goes on.

It's no secret that I am not now, nor have I ever been in a financial stable place. I am constantly worrying about money, how much I have, what I don't have, when more is going to show up, etc. It wasn't until I let go of my fear of losing money that I came to a place of true financial security; I now am truly walking by faith and trusting in God to provide. Now, before you go getting all impressed by my spiritual maturity, I must tell you that I fail all of the time. I struggling with getting pulled back into the fear cycle and worrying about every little penny. There's one thing that help refocus me and that's giving without strings.

I've learned that when I give without worrying about when I'll get the money back or how it will be spent my financial load lightens. I finally realized that it's not my place to decided how, when, where or why people spend. My character has never improved by concerning myself with things of that nature. I know there are people who will say this is a foolish way to live and that it's wasting money. That's fine, I understand and respect your opinion. I just know that for me it's not worth it. It's wasted energy to think about it for me.

Once again, I'm not perfect. There are still times when I clutch my bag and walk by, more concerned for my personal safety than the person who's asking for help. There are times when I see a homeless person and instead of compassion I feel superior. It's a sad truth that I live with and I'm praying that my heart will change. Honestly I wish money wasn't such a big deal. I wish we didn't put such importance on what we have or what others have. And I wish my finances looked a bit different! But the best thing is to continue to live into my faith and trust that much like the sparrow, God is watching over me too.